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About Varied / Student Faolin Gill26/United States Groups :iconblobbyfans: BlobbyFans
 
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Deviant for 9 Years
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The Final Piece by malicon The Final Piece :iconmalicon:malicon 0 32 Commission-Lycurgus/Ti Tie by malicon Commission-Lycurgus/Ti Tie :iconmalicon:malicon 3 3 Kronos Angelseer by malicon Kronos Angelseer :iconmalicon:malicon 6 6
Literature
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Maren stood at the top of her tower, watching the world below her, watching her world crumble and fall to pieces. The pain seared her heart like an everlasting brand, but it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. It had been happening for months. A tree here, a meadow there. Everything had started to die. The earth blackened and the land dried up. She couldn't even cry anymore. She lied to herself, told herself it was going to be okay, smiled, laughed. But it was all fake. Nothing had changed. Her kingdom still fell to pieces. Maren lifted her face to the heavens, hoping for one last glimmer of hope. But black clouds of misery clouded the sky from her vision. There she stood, afraid, tired, and unbelievably alone. She had brought it on herself, she knew. With her lies to herself that she could be happy, that she could trust herself, not to fall. She had painted a fake world for herself. But the painting was falling. The real world. The dark, ugly world of her own life was ble
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Commission-Lycurgus by malicon Commission-Lycurgus :iconmalicon:malicon 3 6
Literature
Chapter 1: Into Tokyo
"You stand at the gate to the crossroads at the dawn of time," a deep, husky voice said behind her. She turned, completely confused by the phrase, to see an old man, hunched over and leaning on a crooked staff. He was clothed in bright orange robes, an oddly lively color for one so old, and his white hair looked akin to the fleeting clouds above them.
"Um… what did you say?" She asked him, still confused. "Who am I? Where am I?"
The old man laughed. "Oh dear, you've forgotten, how wonderfully evil of you!" He continued to laugh uncontrollably.
Her anger flared. "Listen here, you old creep! I demand to know what is going on!"
He stopped laughing abruptly. "You won't know until you step through and open the next gate…  Angelica…" he said the last word almost sadly before erupting into flames. "You have one hour to open the gate! This gate will take you to the crossroads. There you must choose a gate, the right gate will lead you to Tokyo. The others… will le
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Sizyx by malicon Sizyx :iconmalicon:malicon 6 6 Shakar WIP5 by malicon Shakar WIP5 :iconmalicon:malicon 2 4 Shakar WIP4 by malicon Shakar WIP4 :iconmalicon:malicon 1 4 Shakar WIP3 by malicon Shakar WIP3 :iconmalicon:malicon 2 43 Dusk by malicon Dusk :iconmalicon:malicon 16 25 Fallen Leaf Part 3 by malicon Fallen Leaf Part 3 :iconmalicon:malicon 2 3 Dusk WIP1 by malicon Dusk WIP1 :iconmalicon:malicon 10 41 Taste of Sea by malicon Taste of Sea :iconmalicon:malicon 18 23 Fallen Leaf Part 2 by malicon Fallen Leaf Part 2 :iconmalicon:malicon 1 4 Fallen Leaf Part 1 by malicon Fallen Leaf Part 1 :iconmalicon:malicon 1 13

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Hey guys. It's been a very long time but I have good news.

The good news is that I'm back and I'm drawing again. Whoo! Why did I stop drawing? There were some pretty intense things happening in my life and I didn't have time to/couldn't draw or write.

First, I got help. Finally. I found a good psychiatrist and an AMAZING therapist. They diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and hallucinations with psychotic tendencies. I had to take a 8-10 hour IQ test (it was painful as all get out), and tried a whole lot of different meds. I finally found a couple medications that helped me stabilize long enough to attend the therapy classes I so desperately needed. Meds are starting to change again and I'll get back to that in a bit.

On top of all the mental problems I was having, my physical problems began to get worse. I had been told by many doctors that my wrist was suffering from repetitive motion syndrome and when I went to see a doctor after severe leg pain, I was told I had a ripped hamstring and to "walk it off". This was 4-5 years ago. I finally went to get a second opinion on both as both were beginning to cause me so much pain I couldn't walk or even hold items. Turns out I never ripped my hamstring or developed RMS. My leg pain was a result of a chronic form of bicep tendonitis (basically there's a muscle in the leg that's just like the bicep muscle and it has been weakening over time), which now I can treat. I may have to go to physical therapy for that, not sure yet. My wrist was the big surprise. After taking xrays and examining my wrist for a long time, my new doctor found a break in my hand. That break had been there for the ENTIRE five years of pain and was likely caused from falling and landing on my wrist or practicing martial arts. He got my wrist in a cast so that the chipped bone could finally fuse back. This is when my mental health declined. Anxiety began hitting me so hard I couldn't even leave the house and as a result had to leave my job. My fiancé (most amazing man EVER) made sure that I got to my therapy and took care of me while I was in this horrible condition. After six weeks, I returned to the doctor to remove my cast. He then told me to wear a brace and wean off of it for the next four weeks. At the end of the four weeks, I was no longer wearing my brace, but I went to braid my hair and the constant strain on my arm caused part of my tendon to snap. So I spent another eight weeks in an even bigger cast and then six weeks in a brace. 

When I finally got my wrist out of that, I had been seeing a therapist over a year and felt confident in finding a new job. I still don't feel socially adequate but I'm getting there. Anyway, as my wrist healed more I decided to try drawing again. I plugged my wacom tablet in and lo and behold… it didn't work. For some reason my computer was no longer compatible with wacom.

Shortly after that my fiancé and I decided we were going to move across country to be near my family. There were so many benefits to moving that included improving both our mental and physical health (we were living in WV and both allergic to mold). Since the medications I am on are fairly dangerous and I was doing so well mentally, I decided to start weaning off my meds. I'm now completely off Mirtazapine and in another week and a half I'll be off Lamictol. I have my family keeping a close eye on me in case I display bad signs. It's been rough but going well.

I finally found a new way to do my digital art. I got a stylus and an app and I'm painting on my itty bitty iPhone 4. I'm about halfway done with a new portrait painting so expect to see that soonish.

Anyway, now I'm out in Idaho, I've got two fantastic cats, I'm engaged to a wonderful man, and I've discovered so much about myself. If things continue doing well, I'll be going to school next year for an associates in Biology, then on to a larger university to eventually get a PhD in Neurobiology (that's the plan as of right now).

Anyway. I miss you all and I'm glad I can finally get back to working on my art. 

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:iconayiano:
Ayiano Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! :D
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:iconsundancingstar:
Sundancingstar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
your request [link]
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:iconalexorio:
AlexORio Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
[link]
I am going to perform a gallery cleaning in the next two days. Please make sure that my commission/s or contest work to you has been saved on your computer. Thank you.
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:iconsylvaerian:
Sylvaerian Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday~
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:iconmalicon:
malicon Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Shanks! ^_^
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:iconsylvaerian:
Sylvaerian Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
O' course~
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:iconmalicon:
malicon Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
That made me feel all better.
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(1 Reply)
:iconclavis-salomonis:
Clavis-Salomonis Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday! :party:
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:iconmalicon:
malicon Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks! ^_^
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:iconclavis-salomonis:
Clavis-Salomonis Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2012  Student General Artist
:D
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